


You Watched Me Fall

by tutseti



Series: Fall, Live, Love [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Feels, Budding Love, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Male Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6980758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tutseti/pseuds/tutseti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi sees Iruka about to take on Pain and is determined to intervene. Sure, he would have stepped in to save any other fellow shinobi but with Iruka it's a very different feeling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Watched Me Fall

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion piece to "I Watched You Die". Same premise but from Kakashi's POV. I love the scene from the attack on Konoha where Kakashi interveens for Iruka agaisnt Pain/Nagato hence why both fics are set there. I do not have a beta so any mistakes are ones I did not catch. I will eventually continue with a third part of this series... emphasis on eventually.

_ That idiot! _

 

That was the only thought racing through his mind as the scene unfolded in front of his eyes.  He knew he shouldn't be surprised as they were both shinobi and in the middle of a battle to save their village from attack, but that did not mean he had to like it.  In fact it irritated him.  No, it pissed him off.

 

There was no chance for Iruka to last even a minute against a member of the Akatsuki, especially Pain and any one of the other paths.  And yet there he was acting as a shield for another even less powerful ninja, screaming at him to run for safety.  Kakashi wanted to do the same thing.  But this desire was much stronger, something he had been ignoring for a long time- years actually.  Ever since their clash of ideals during the chuunin exams.

 

There was a giant misconception about Iruka and Kakashi would be the first to say so, but of course he would never admit it.  He thought the teacher was weak, a chuunin with no drive or desire for advancement, even lazy for wanting to stay within the safety of the village and his own bed every night instead of being a true nin and surviving off ration bars, sleepless nights and chakra depletion for days or weeks at a time from missions. And he thought he was a prick.  A by the book, stick up his ass, no back bone yes man type of prick. Kakashi had seen many shinobi like that throughout his career and he assumed the chuunin was just another one of the bunch.  He frequently tuned out Naruto's constant incessant praises of his favorite sensei, and Naruto made sure Kakashi knew who was his favorite teacher.  And if Kakashi didn't already have a negative opinion about Iruka by then, the pre-genin teacher definitely wasn't on his favorite people list thanks to Naruto.

 

It wasn't until the chuunin exams that made the jounin re-evaluate his opinion of the other.  Very few people ever dared to challenge Kakashi (Gai's definition of "challenge" didn't apply). And those that did were seldom and few and always did it in a way that made Kakashi feel like they were still semi-afraid or holding him with too much reverence- like walking on eggshells around him.  He even felt this from the Sandaime, but it was probably more out of pity for all the crap life dealt him.

 

When Iruka spoke up about the nominations that registered a bit with Kakashi.  However he decided to test this and he probably took things a bit too far and his words came out more harsh than he had intended, but he expected the teacher to just cower and concede to the "big bad" Sharingan no Kakashi.  When he didn't, even behind that polite smile and words, he could see the fire in his eyes and anger directed at Kakashi,  Anyone who didn't see it was either blind or a fool.  Naruto's favorite teacher wasn't afraid to speak his mind and openly disagree with him, and in front of the Hokage no less! That was when he started to let go of his preconceived notions. 

 

He still ignored Naruto’s non stop boasting, well at least kept up the appearance of doing so while secretly listening to the son of Minato babble on and on.  He was mainly interested in clue words or phrases- ramen at Ichiraku’s, considered Naruto to be family more than just a former pupil, liked tea...alot, always knew how to best Naruto at pranks and would always turn it into an espionage lesson instead of sharing his secret. That made Kakashi secretly laugh.  So Iruka either had been a scamp in his youth or still was deep down. Now knowing a few things about the academy instructor he had a starting point to attempt interacting with the man.  There was no way Kakashi was going to blindly strike up a conversation.

 

After the initial awkwardness and lingering feelings of resentment from the chuunin exams went away (the wonders of unexpected apologies from both men) Kakashi was surprised at how quickly they began a friendship.  It felt natural, like they had always been friends and made them both question why they never associated with each other before. It first started out with a meal Ichiraku’s, with Iruka stating that he loved the ramen while secretly admitting he wished he could try some of the other eateries but sadly they were out of his budget. So Kakashi rectified that, using the excuse that he wouldn’t be able to enjoy his meal if he took Gai, and refused to let Iruka pay for anything.  Unlike the teacher he didn’t need to work two jobs nor did his ninken drain his budget like Naruto could.  He had plenty of extra money and with no family of his own to inherit it treating someone special was the least he could do.

 

Someone special… Iruka was quickly becoming associated with that phrase.  Kakashi didn’t even realize when it happened.  Maybe it was the look of pure surprise when he randomly gave the younger man a container of Gyokuro tea.  He thought the container looked nice and remembered Iruka liked tea.  Unlike weapons and blades, Kakashi couldn’t tell the difference between tea types. With Iruka’s sudden blush when explaining that he had been gifted one of the most expensive varieties, and the dream type he had always wanted to try, he couldn’t help but feel himself swell deep inside.  It was a feeling he wasn’t used to but he liked it, especially if seeing Iruka blush would make him feel that way. Iruka needed to smile more often.

 

Another surprising fact about Iruka was that he was not the best cook.  He was competent but even he knew he was lacking. Kakashi, on the other hand, was an amazing cook.  It was one of the few non-shinobi life skills he learned from his sensei.  And because Iruka didn’t believe him that’s how their meetups transitioned from restaurants to Iruka’s home.  The place having a cozy vibe was expected.  Unlike Kakashi Iruka actually lived there for more than a few days at a time.  Of course it would make sense that he would invest in modestly comfortable furniture, a kotetsu, and display drawing and gifts from his students. 

 

What Kakashi hadn’t expected was how comfortable he felt there.  Tension just seemed to melt away from his body the moment is crossed the threshold into that tiny yet well lived in apartment. He would never admit it, not even to himself, but he began to look forward to coming over to Iruka’s.  He would take requests on what dishes to make, longue around on the couch reading from Iruka’s vast library while the sensei graded papers, teased about how his students had better handwriting than Kakashi, and chat about anything and everything non-shinobi related. What happened on a mission was never talked about, not even on late nights when Kakashi would find himself at Iruka’s door battle weary, injured and chakra depleted. Kakashi said Iruka’s place was closer than his own or the hospital, but really he wanted to heal where he felt safe for the first time since he was a babe in his mother’s arms.  Iruka would lightly chastise him for bleeding at his doorstep instead of going to the hospital while using the basic medical training all academy teachers knew to help treat what he could with Kakashi always promising to go to the hospital later after he slept a bit.  And yet there would still be tea and a light meal ready for him when he woke up.  And eventually a key with a note attached saying not to track mud and blood inside next time.

 

Before he knew it Iruka had filled the void in his heart he never thought could be filled. He looked forward to seeing him at every available moment.  He would lounge about the tree outside the academy, with a view of Iruka’s classroom.  He’d read a book- something from the Icha Icha series, but often he would use the cover to hide another title purely so he wouldn’t be bothered.  But leave it to the sensei to unleash the minions outside and bombard him with questions and wanting to be shown jutsu.  Payback for “reading porn” on school grounds he would say.

 

Kakashi would also linger around the mission room observing him working diligently greeting returning nin with a smile or a stern lecture if their reports were below standard.  It was comforting to know that he wasn’t the only one to suffer his wrath and he couldn’t help but chuckle silently behind his book. When he would torment Iruka it was purely to get a rise out of him, at least not intentionally at first.  But as their friendship grew so did Kakashi’s desire to see the other get so passionately worked up.  That was what it had become- a game to see how far he could push it and how far Iruka was willing to push right back. Very few people ever challenged or called him out on anything and the son of the White Fang admired that about Iruka- unless it was the Hokage or a diplomat every shinobi was treated the same and given no special treatment.  He loved that about Iruka.

 

Love…

 

He didn’t know what that word truly meant.  Sure he had loved Minato-sensei, Obito and Rin.  Hell, he even loved Gai and Yamato in his own way. But with Iruka it felt different. He constantly felt a whirlwind of emotions when it came to the younger man. Nervousness, childish glee, anxiety, fear, warmth, calm, longing.  He ignored these feelings like he did with any other but it became harder to do so with each passing day as their friendship grew closer, with every accidental touch that lingered a little longer than it should have, with every averted gaze, nervous laugh, flush of red dusting their cheeks. He couldn’t admit to himself because he didn’t know what he would be admitting to.  Not knowing terrified him more than even the most ferocious and deadly of opponents.

 

_ That idiot! _

 

He didn’t even think.  Sure he would have stepped in against a member of Akatsuki that threatened any leaf nin but this was no other shinobi.  This was Iruka.  His Iruka. There was no time to process the deeper meaning of that statement.  He knew the other was no match against Pain.  He didn’t even know if he was but he did know for certain that he would fair far better against him and save two lives instead of none. Saving Iruka was all he could think about.  He didn’t want to lose that smile, not yet.

 

“Run!”

 

He didn’t even wait to hear the protests as he charged at the enemy head on. This was the fight of his life.  This opponent was unlike any he had previously fought, even with the aid of the sharingan. He could feel the toll his eye was taking on him but still he pressed on.  The other wasn’t letting up, matching him blow for blow. 

And then the unthinkable happened. He knew he wasn’t invincible but he thought he had planned and countered everything possible. The blow came out of nowhere. It felt like no other injury before.  He knew what it meant.  There were other times where he thought he was dying but now that he was experiencing it he understood the difference. He felt himself becoming cold and his chakra draining away, seeping out of him at the same rate as the blood.  He felt himself being enveloped by a thick darkness.  It was muted but he could hear a shouting in the distance.  No it was screaming.  Someone was screaming his name, crying hysterically.  Just before he was swallowed into oblivion he figured out who it was, who would be dumb enough to shed tears over him. 

_ You watched me fall.  Shit... _


End file.
